Scream!!!!!!!!

Ohh this photo it seems to be strange, yet for me and my friend it has a meaning.I love this because it is expressing a fact that had just happened.Yet, everytime I look at it I just don't think of that particular moment but see how I'm feeling from the inside...I just want to scream to world and let all know who am I really but unfortunately I don't have so guts.So my back up plan is to write everything down, now lets hope I have the guts to let those people whom I need to tell something read everything or else grow the guts and tell them.And then maybe I could look at life with a bigger smile than I have today because experience is telling me who friends are =)

Secret Santa

Well till now I haven't had a great christmas the one of the kind that you will always remember but lets still have faith for things to change.This year few presents seem to have come my way, I know that this isn't what christmas is about but I like the thought behind gifts.And,yes maybe Santa still has to come under my christmas tree to deposit some gifts due at the moment is dead empty (therefore if he alreafy came I'm screwed hehe).I have been looking at things in all the positive way possible due that when I was seeing everything bad more things made them worse,however this plan doesn't seem to work that they aren't changing eventhough I'm working hard on them.

These days have been quite nice seeing people who I didn't see for ages,and see how they changed.However,seeing them made me more conscious about my life, because I want to acheive things like having a relationship and being able to stay in it for ever till death eventhough the road seems tough and harsh yet I'm ready to love more than I'm already loving, fight for what is good for me and others and stand up and take charge, also I want to know who my true friends really are those that eventhough I might hurt them sometimes or they might do at the end of it all they are going to be there for me ready to put a smile on my face by just a stare.I hope for a year better than the ones already lived filled with fun and crazy moments, love, friends, passion, and faith in never disbelief something without even trying eventhough a simpler way seems to be nicer it might be worse than working and fighting hard for something more difficult yet maybe worth more living;both in my future carreer and that love,

To all those people reading I just wish you a merry and a joyful christmas and have a good year filled with all they desire,and that to keep those real friends close eventhough few and don't replace them with new,have friends and keep them all the same but don/t replace easily those that have been there for you and know you.This is an advice that I have learnt last year when I had this problem,yet now I'm all good I hope and ready to share all my life with someone else.

Happy Christams :))be all safe
xxxxx

Eye of the tiger

After a month I've been able to put together a large tangled puzzle and I confirmed something I knew yet was convinced the contrary.Some people play mind games on you and you are there believing yet you have to evaluate what everyone says and conclude what is best for you.Tonight I was bewildered that I was right, I came to know who my friends are, and who is there just to be there however I feel stupid due that to just few days ago I was helping this person and being there for him/her.Another thing that tonight just came to mind is when someone says he loves you, how do you actually believe him if this is what he feels for you.Clearly about that I still have to do some work and time and manners will tell me, hope this will be soon over because I want to love and love big to one person in my life yet I want this to be reciprocate and with no mind games or anything.

The last thing that was on my mind throughout these months is..."You're mine","What the song?","No, you are!".Turns around and from that day life changed from black to white and just can't believe it is going to be a year in less than a month.Let's see how this event will go this year, will it be better or worse?

She Loves You

<3 love them 

Work to live

Yesterday was the last day at uni before the two weeks of holidays start.I was looking forward for these weeks to be relaxing and maybe catch up a  little with my studies due that in a month time exams will be knocking at the door.However, apart from studying and catching up with an assignment and a presentation I have also to think seriously about my dissertation.The dissertation is going to be an important thing the next two years or so because my future will depend on it.The proposal has to be in, in February, yet for my own good it's best if I start now thinking about it,like what i'm doing on this Saturday night.I'm stayed in tonight due that tomorrow will be an early morning at work and to say that the educational stuff wasn't enough for these two weeks,I'm practically working every single day apart from THREE days.I can say that these won't be the same holidays like  I used to have way back, especially during the secondary school days, which are my most missed memories.However, I have to keep in mind that thanks to work I can have that extra money and be able to enjoy life more, now more than before because I'm planning to go to Spain this spring yet still needs to figure out with whom although a person has already proposed to join me
:)
Hope everyone will have a blessed which and be able to do some Christmas shopping or so...enjoy these days
xx

Disappear

Maybe its time to just disappear a little bit...and I must say that I´m the old Yesenia!

You can´t quit until you try

Maybe nothing will come easily right in front of you ready to take it in life,either you have to word hard and acheive it or else just be left without nothing.I intend to try and get all that I want,I just don´t want to jump to the conclusion I can´t have it or it is impossible for it to work without trying.On both sides it could work or no, but at the end of the day I won´t be left wondering what would have happened?what things would have gone?how my life would have changed?Try and risk it if you just believe in something.Eventhough some more easy things might come your way yet you don´t like it or you don´t have any interest,I´m of the opinion to go for the hard because deep down you know that it is what you really want...

You got it?

This song will always make me remember of my last birthday :)

L.O.V.E

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see

V is very, very extraordinary

E is even more than anyone that you adore and

Love is all that I can give to you

Love is more than just a game for two

Two in love can make it

Take my heart and please don't break it

Love was made for me and you

I recently feel in love with Nat King Cole thanks to a friend, I can´t stop listening to his songs :)Especially with this one and also Fly me to the moon.

Wintery nights

Tonight I'm posting again due that today I took let just say a break because I just handed in a quite tiring assignment yet I have another one.So,I decided to just spend the night rolled up in a duvet with a mug of coffee,which strangely enough it makes me sleep!!And maybe watch a movie...let's hope that caffeine won't make me sleep suddenly due to me it is like a sleeping pill.hehe.However I';n happy to start this week in a relaxed way for once.

Good week to all 

xxx

love her <3

Graduation

These days the more I see people celebrating with their graduation,I more want to graduate.It is an important phase in life for some people and I clearly want it to be and I'm ready to work for it no matter what!!The fact of achieving something in life with all the hard work and being recognized is an amazing thing...and then after graduating at my university there it is you have the buscade with all the course friends :)

A thing of my course is that this is in particular the first year that Spanish is offered as Honours therefore we are more looking forward to graduate due that we will be the first!!!We already know how our tshirt will be and that we will be cruising Malta in a tourist jeep instead of a bus due that we are only 9 girls!Can't wait for these 2 years to pass :)

Don't just assume

Those little things one does without even knowing are the ones to be remebered,so don't think that you cannot make someone happy or do what they want or deserve.By just being yourself without noticing you are putting a smile on someones face and also making them falling in love without knowing.

Remember everything grows from a small thing :)

Tangled up

In life every once in a while we may feel tangled up by something, could it be love, career, family or any other reason.This will seem to be tearing us apart yet we have to fight so that it won't win us!There ain't no easy way to get through which will make it more painful to get to the end.Don't think of an end and just because you think is right do not try...in life all we have to do is try it might work as it might not.However it is better to know that you failed trying that failed because of not trying.

Go head and risk it...what doesn't break you will  make you stronger and more ready for life.
I'm ready to fight all odds and get all that my heart loves and wants,don't care if I'll be crying all night and feel pain as long as I have tried anyhthing I will not give up!!

Jaca estara siempre en mi corazon

In Jaca I have memories that will always be in my heart but will move on to different places to make new ones with different people from different cultures.But, it seems that today I'm really missing those Jaca moments,were laughter lasted days and smiles on everyones faces with no worries apart of that of having fun!!

                                                              Las Chicas maltesas =)

Espero que un dia voy otra vez a este pequeno pueblo...

La Gitanilla

Podrá ser que sea tuya y tú seas mío....

A song that will always bring sweet memories =))

Owl City Fireflies...

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance

A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell

But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

Sorry

I'm that kind of person who frequently enough says the word SORRY,this because when something goes wrong and I say something I tend to take the blame because I don't want no wrong to happen.When I say I'm sorry it really means I'm sorry,not that I feel guilty or anything else it also means I don't want to lose you, as it is a friend,or someone I love...
      Sorry but I don't want to lose you no matter what!!

My status at the moment

Confused...Panicked...Happy...Sad...Unfocused...Full of emotions...In pain...to sum it up I just don't know what is going on at the moment,all I need is to Relax!!!!Hoping that by the end of the week everything will be settled :))

I'm falling in love

I must say I'm falling in love yet not with a person but with this site :P
                             http://www.modcloth.com/
I just can't stop browsing it, every time I'm finding something new...Ohh I need money :(
And, most of all I fell in love with these amazing cameras and also accesories,I WANT!!!

Friends you've got to love them :)

Add caption

Life is a big puzzle...

I can say that life has changed me in a drastic way throughout these years, it make me feel conscious about myself, forget myself or else others, I never knew what my purpose was, it just kept giving me things but I wasn't able to put everything together.Luckily enough it seems that I'm getting some sense to be able to make up this puzzle and create my life, I know what I want, I can see my purpose although there is lot more to be discovered than there already is.Nowadays I'm able to say that no one is going to ruin my life, I'm going to fight for what I want, especially for my career, family and love, and all those values that will just make you a fulfilled person.

I'm just going to get what I want yet the path is long and dangerous, I might get hurt, lose faith, however I know that I am going to give the best!!

Autumn

In Autumn everything "dies" yet in its decay the beauty increase and all you can see around you are bright oranges, red and yellow.This is the time were you prepare yourself for winter so enjoy these colours in full life before they disappear and everything becomes white!!

How love can change...

Before 

Picasso painted his first wife in a such a classical way different from what he was doing at that moment.He changed his  style because  her energy gave him this inspiration and also because he was so madly in love with her that he almost did a perfect piece of art.Yet, after he sucked all of his wife's energy he changed how he looked at her and painted her differently, however he painted his mistress in such a beautiful way again because of his love.

After

He did an amazing job in these portraits because he showed how love for the same person can change and how we can view the same person differently after some time!!

My life in just a verse xD

CÓMO QUIERES QUE TE QUIERA
SI EL QUE QUIERO QUE ME QUIERA
NO ME QUIERE COMO QUIERO QUE ME QUIERA

Oxymoron

     These are the days which I love and hate at the same time, they are full of craziness and happiness yet with that inch of sadness and hurt that will always effect me more than those dull and dark days.I'm just mad trying to live life day by day even though in the inside I'm a little thoughtful and worried about what is about to come.Fighting not to think and to keep my emotions steady is beginning difficult but it seems all I can do not to keep hurting although I don't want to.Deep down however I know I will not be completely successful because I'm a freak/hopeless romantic who loves love, although not frequently experienced ,which I don't regret at all.I think that you have to fight for love if you truly believe in it no matter what,even if it will be painful at the beginning once everything is settled, life will be full of amazing  things and feelings.These days of madness are full of these thoughts and emotions which are just hidden by my madness of always trying to smile even when life is constantly slamming doors in your face.Droplets are constantly falling across my cheeks, sometimes because of joy and others of pain.Those of joy will always leave a mark yet those of pain will leave a deeper and maybe a more permanent mark!!

Ps.I know that this blog is not full of positive things but these are all my thoughts and how I feel and at the moment it is just quite difficult.That's all!!

Will be writing soon xxx

Back to school...

     In less than 2 days University will start again with all the hassle, studying, rushing and all its problems.Yet, strangely enough I'm looking forward for it and ready for a year all packed up with new things to do.This year although I'm not yet fully registered-welcome to university life and its problems-will be a year were I will be left without breathe because I have to focus more on Spanish and its going to be hard for the end of this year to be completely fluent in the language.However, I'm ready!!!
    2nd Year University Here I come :)))

End of Summer 2010

This weekend was the last one of this summer,so all the island was full of activities for the young ones.One of the biggest hits was the End of Summer special Weekender, which was divided into two days.On the first day there was Deadmau5 and also Gareth Emery, to be honest I only enjoyed Deadmau5 part due that I like more his genre.On the second day there was one of the most famous commercial djs, David Guetta,I must say he gave quite a show.
      These both days will be in my best memories due that loads of things happened, quite strange, unthinkable, new and unexplainable.Above all I ended this summer in big, luckily enough.Now,I'm already looking forward for next weekend due that one of my great friends will have her birthday!!And also we will be going to Elton John's concert which is quite different from this past weekend.And winter is clearly approaching due that I'm starting to live just for the weekends...

Deadmau5

And tonight is the night we have been waiting for :):) Let the end of summer weekend begin!!

I think, I dream, I worry...will these take me somewhere!!

Dilemma

       These days are just getting to be more harder and it will only get worst if I don't act now.All my real friends have tried to open my eyes about certain things but I've been blind and trying to look only the positive sides of things.Yet now, I realised that everything has a limit and I'm going to try to sit things straight, they have to go either way...let's just hope the best  for everyone.Last night was a night were I opened my eyes because so many people are continuing to tell me  the same thing so that must be quite obvious that something is wrong.

       A word, a hug, a look, a gift all have a meaning which make me think, as if I don't do that a lot already,but thanks to these little gestures I see who are those people who really care and might at the end of the day be those real FRIENDS.I just get angry to know that there are some people who pretend that they are your friends but in reality they are only using you and take just what they want from you.Actually, this is over and I'm not going to be used as a   simple piece of paper which can be used and then thrown away.

      I still don't know what I want from this life, yet I don't condition other people with this,and I hate when people try to this because the pain you feel when this happens is unimaginable and don't want no one to live it.I'm just not accusing nobody but some people have just to be careful because to achieve their happens they have to be careful with the other persons around them feelings.

     But looking on the bright side this is what makes you a person the decisions we all need to go through, and I'm ready to win this battle against all the problems and always have a smile on my face no matter what happens.A smile will always help you and will be a good deal to start new friendships!!

Weekends!!

    Back from a night out with my lovely girls yet I'm still not tired!!Today we celebrated a special friend's birthday and we all ended up moaning about something...who got feet pain including myself thanks to those lovely high heeled shoes that are so painful, who was cold and who was tired after a day of work or a day of swimming.

      This weekend was kind of funny loads of things happened and are yet to come i'm guessing in this particular moment.Yesterday I went out after work, with some workmates although the night was planned to be with my girls but never mind I still met them and enjoyed our night.Jb might not be one of my bestfriends because it just got me so drunk that my tongue went loose and nothing could stop it... I just was saying everything that came up to my mind without no thought.Well, some secrets came out, and all my shyness was left outside the club and all that I had to say was said, finally.This might have been a positive thing, however believe me somethings are better left unsaid sometimes.Today, I just tried to stay away from alcohol and fortunately enough was able to and spent the night with my girls and taking loads of photos again.
       Although the night wasn't perfect thanks to some nonsense some people continue saying and how they act,but at least nothing was ruined!A weekend off from work has become a salvation to me so that I can enjoy myself together with those who I call friends.The weekend is not yet over and I'm already looking forward for the next one because here in Malta is going to be big, because Deadmau5 and Guetta are going to be here, and also Digweed who are quite popular here.
      I'm out for today, let's wait and see what will happen tomorrow if somethings go the way I want them too or not, and maybe end this weekend on a positive note.

Goodnight
      xxx

A new beginning

via deviantart

Welcome to my blog!!This will be something new for me although I already have  Tumblr, yet I'm going to try this at the moment.

Well, I'm a girl living in Malta named Yesenia.Currently studying at the University of Malta and will be a second year student this October, and am totally looking forward due that the course I'm in will be offering Honours this year for the very first time.This is also a reason why I opted to have a blog so that I would open new horizons to my world.

This summer has been one of the best I must say so, I'm looking forward to show you some bits and pieces of how it was, yet nothing went always perfect with all those ups and downs life comes with.Right now I may not be the most happy person but thanks to these writings I will be able to feel better.

I'll keep you posted with whats going on in my life through photos and thoughts!!

Yesenia x